Why I don't trust myself when running





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Why I don't trust myself when running
By Elizabeth Filips • Issue #4 • View online
I find it really funny when I say ‘this just isn’t for me’ or when I quit things. I so confidently trust Elizabeth when everything points to me really not being a reliable person.
I’ve changed so much over the past 5 years, even over this last year alone. Things I used to enjoy I now hate and vice versa.
So, should I trust myself?
I think, in many ways: absolutely not. Let me explain.
I used to see things in a way that they are or aren’t enjoyable. But then I think… some people enjoy running. They seriously find putting on trainers and going out to pant in the cold, fun. Some even run marathons or triathlons or iron men (look it up 😬).
So how do I account for that?
Benjamin Hardy, one of my favourite psychologists said: You can get yourself to want anything, so you might as well be intentional in what you get yourself to enjoy.
I now very much subscribe to this idea - I will start liking things (just as people do running) if I push past that initial hard stage, and don’t trust how much I hate it at first.
And things that are really worth doing, are worth pushing through. I put off YouTube for years because I was so scared to put myself out there, and now (excluding the tears) it is really one of the funnest things I do.
So I don’t trust myself. I don’t think that people who run are too different to me, because I’m so different to myself to start with.
I feel I have some responsibility to create myself through the decisions I make and environments I choose. And as Benjamin would say: you’ll find, you have been creating yourself all along, even if unintentionally.
So I might as well be intentional about it.

Quote of the week
“The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool.” 
—Richard P. Feynman
My Favourite Things This Week
Roam Research - OH MY GOD why have I not paid attention to the hype. I’ve been a Notion fangirl for ages, but my mathematical, minimalistic side has seen Roam and fallen in love. I wish I could book a one week holiday and properly learn it and transfer some information over from Notion :/
Scrubs - I’ve rediscovered the comfort of wearing scrubs at home, a dangerous game I should’ve never played because now I can’t go back. I’ve been cycling through my two pairs of scrubs all week. Help.
Yoghurt with walnuts and honey - Sounds random, but this is the fastest, easiest and not-the-worst for you dessert. Have been having it every day this week so I’ve definitely overdone it at this point.
YouTube Videos this week
Why I Have a Second Brain
Why I Have a Second Brain
A Realistic Day in the Life of a London Medical Student
A Realistic Day in the Life of a London Medical Student
Did you enjoy this issue?
Elizabeth Filips

Hiya, I'm Elizabeth, a medical student and artist in London. Every Sunday I write about exploring meaning, productivity, little pleasures and just navigating life. And some of my favourite things that week.

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