I find it really funny when I say ‘this just isn’t for me’ or when I quit things. I so confidently trust Elizabeth when everything points to me really not being a reliable person.
I’ve changed so much over the past 5 years, even over this last year alone. Things I used to enjoy I now hate and vice versa.
So, should I trust myself?
I think, in many ways: absolutely not. Let me explain.
I used to see things in a way that they are or aren’t enjoyable. But then I think… some people enjoy running. They seriously find putting on trainers and going out to pant in the cold, fun. Some even run marathons or triathlons or iron men (look it up 😬).
So how do I account for that?
Benjamin Hardy, one of my favourite psychologists said: You can get yourself to want anything, so you might as well be intentional in what you get yourself to enjoy.
I now very much subscribe to this idea - I will start liking things (just as people do running) if I push past that initial hard stage, and don’t trust how much I hate it at first.
And things that are really worth doing, are worth pushing through. I put off YouTube for years because I was so scared to put myself out there, and now (excluding the tears) it is really one of the funnest things I do.
So I don’t trust myself. I don’t think that people who run are too different to me, because I’m so different to myself to start with.
I feel I have some responsibility to create myself through the decisions I make and environments I choose. And as Benjamin would say: you’ll find, you have been creating yourself all along, even if unintentionally.
So I might as well be intentional about it.