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How to reward yourself

How to reward yourself
By Elizabeth Filips • Issue #14 • View online
Heya,
It’s milestone time: I’ve just graduated from my third year of university (having done better than I expected), completed an extra 3 year diploma (on philosophy, theology, politics), just got promoted into (one of my) dream jobs and lockdown seems to be slowly easing.
And I haven’t rewarded myself for any of these things.
If you (and honestly, thanks if you do) watch me on YouTube, you may have noticed I don’t usually do milestone videos. I’ve successfully managed to avoid my 20k, 30k etc Q&A videos. I don’t usually reward myself for academic achievements either.
And this is deliberate.
It’s not that I hate fun (😈). Far from it. I’m actually the most excitable person in most rooms. I will honestly jump up and down at the thought of some good food, a hangout with a friend, fresh bedsheets and finding a new favourite book.
It’s rather that I try very intentionally to avoid the chase. The dopamine rush.
If I enjoy my university scores too much, the dopamine will drive me into a state of rushing, stressed panic to study and quiet down the anxiety of perhaps not getting that joy of high scores anymore.
In the same way, if I pat myself on the back about my YouTube milestones, a video with less views and a week with less subscribers will break my heart.
And trust me, I’m not above these joys at all. I work to subdue them even a bit. To focus a lot less on results and more on the journey. To be more autotelic - where the experience is its own reward.
Where I need nothing more than the process itself. Where my reward, is getting to do the thing in the first place, rather than the social validation it brings me. (or personal, if there is such a thing)
The fun of scripting and editing. The joy of studying and helping others. And the attempted avoidance of my own ego.
Wishing you a wonderful week and so excited to be back!
Love,
Elizabeth

Quote of the week
“We found that if you want the largest increase in motivation and productivity, then big goals lead to the best outcomes. Big goals significantly outperform small goals, medium-sized goals, and vague goals.“ 
— Steven Kotler
My Favourite Things This Week
Calls - I’ve met over 300 new people this week 🤯 I’ve been hosting onboarding calls for the Part Time YouTuber Academy and getting to chat to every new student. It’s been absolutely incredible, although writing this 6 days in, I’m definitely starting to lose my voice a bit.
Books - I’ve been reading Habits of a Happy Brain - very strongly recommend for any biology and especially neurology lover. It provides a great scientific background for how our behaviour and happiness work. I’ve also been reading the Business of Belonging, part of my new reading list for books to do with building online communities. It’s really good! It reads more like a blog post than a book, but it does give great information and value.
YouTube Videos this week
How I work 5x Faster
How I work 5x Faster
Where I've been (a long rambly catchup)
Where I've been (a long rambly catchup)
Did you enjoy this issue?
Elizabeth Filips

Hiya, I'm Elizabeth, a medical student and artist in London. Every Sunday I write about exploring meaning, productivity, little pleasures and just navigating life. And some of my favourite things that week.

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